George W. Bush Says He Can't Remember Being President
This is a writing sample from Scripted writer Harry Dreyfuss
IRVING, TX — During a brief Q&A at a museum groundbreaking ceremony this week, former President George W. Bush appeared to have no memory of his time in office, according to footage broadcast live Tuesday afternoon.
"I get this question a lot, and to be quite honest with you all, I'm not sure I know what you mean," he said, when asked whether he reflects well on his tenure, adding that the past fifteen years were "kind of a big 'ol blur… being a governor can really tucker a guy out."
After members of the press gently reminded the erstwhile Commander-in-Chief of his major role in recent world affairs, and that his very real presidency would have a lasting impact on generations to come, Bush replied that while he was "honored" to be considered an influential figure, he was "sure he'd remember something like that."
Bush, now a suburban Dallas resident, went on to discuss his newfound passion for painting, which he described as "feeling like you're part of something really important. You just don't get that kind of thing very often in life!"
"Sure could go for a Fanta," he added.
The previous de facto leader of the greatest military in the history of the world, Bush has kept clear of political life in recent years.
"But should Jeb decide to run, he'd have my full support," said Bush, in response to an inquiry about his brother's presidential prospects. "At one time I had an eye on the big chair myself, but I was never one for politics."
"That'd be something, wouldn't it?" Bush continued, smiling good-naturedly toward the horizon. "Two prezzies in one family? Dad… he'd sure be proud of that, wouldn't he?"
After being whisked away by visibly shaken handlers, Bush was faintly heard shouting several praises to "Beloved Gonqueduct, Maker of Men's One-a-Day Multivitamin."
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