This is a writing sample from Scripted writer Erica Yancey
Carpe diem means to seize the day. So it's time to carpe that diem so hard and show yourself a little lot of love. Because to be honest, there's no better time to treat yo' self than the present. There's no "I" in group project, but there is in pedicure. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, especially your cat. Because we all know your BFF won't judge you, and when we say BFF we really mean "Best Furry Feline". You deserve an indulgence—or five—and don't forget about giving a little somethin' to that fluff ball of joy you call "Kevin" (we don't know your cat's name so we improvised). Not sure where to begin? Don't worry. We've got you covered. Here are some ultimate splurges for you and your kitty:
Upgrade Your Onesie
Fact: Scientific research shows that the minute you put anything with silk on your body, your dating life improves and your intelligence increases by 10%. Just kidding, we have no idea. But we do know that silk is the caviar of fabrics and you can't get any more practical than adult footie pajamas. Combine the two and you basically are a super human. Technically, your cat wears a permanent onesie but they probably would love an upgrade: Call in a tailor from Europe to make you and your kitty matching silken ensembles. We guarantee you will both turn heads.
Silk not your scene? Channel your inner kangaroo by adding a pouch to the front of your onesie so your cat can tag along wherever you go. Boom. Functional style meets furry bonding.
ROCK Your Smartphone Case
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but what about your phone case? Make sure your phone case shows the world how fancy you really are by adding some serious ice. Your cat is your best accessory anyway, and they set the bar high when it comes to cuteness, so what's on the outside actually does matter more than what's on the inside.
Don't want to deck out your cell? Treat your cat to some tech by getting them their own phone. How do you think the best cat videos get recorded? No, we're not being ridiculous. This is a great idea.
Change the Channel to 4K
Make sure your next binge watching session is in total high definition by decking out your digs with the latest TV tech. Don't stop the party there. Swap your boring living room basics for fancy furniture, plush pillows and a luxurious throw blanket. Your cat may prefer to stuff themselves into one of the empty boxes they found while you were setting up your new home entertainment center, but if they do join you on the couch, they will have sweeter dreams.
Sure, tonight's date may have cancelled on you because they think they are coming down with a second round of chickenpox, but at least you can snuggle up in your upgraded footie pajamas (see above) with the date who's been there day one. Your cat will never leave you. Mostly because they depend on you for food, but also because they love you.
See Stars at Your Next Party
Why not get Champagne Papi to actually pour the bubbly at your next get-together? Renting a celebrity for a party is not only legal, but will also show your friends how lame their birthday spent at the mall getting froyo really was. Pro tip: Hire a celeb who is down to pose for your cat's Insta.
For a more selfless act of spoiling, hire a celebrity your cat adores. Like the mailman they always watch from the windowsill. You will save a good chunk of change and your postman will probably feel flattered.
Rent a Private Island
We get it. Sometimes you just need some peace and quiet. Your cat is lucky enough to be able to retreat to under the bed for some alone time, but if you did that it would make everyone feel very uncomfortable. Skip the social faux pas and rent a private island. The coast of Australia is a great spot for an escape with your kitty. Having trouble letting loose? Just remember to PURR: Pamper, Unwind, Rest and Relax.
Whether you decide to rent this year's "It Girl" off the runway or dip your face into pure gold at the spa, keep in mind that there is someone else who needs a treat just as much as you: your cat. While we wouldn't recommend taking them on that bungee jumping excursion you booked for later, you should show them they are special with Temptations treats. Give them Tasty Chicken or Tantalizing Turkey for a morning snack or treat them to Creamy Dairy of Blissful Catnip for an after-dinner indulgence. No matter which tasty flavor you choose, they will be glad you took the time to treat them too.
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