Many people think that freelance writing is just a fancy term for unemployment. These people like to insist that your partner pays all the bills, or make comments about how it must be nice to sit at home all day. It’s best to ignore them, but sometimes, you just can’t. Make a mental note of the responses below and use them to silence your critics. It’s okay to have a bit of fun at their expense every once in awhile.
- “Can I borrow some money?”Take advantage of the fact that people think you’re unemployed and ask to borrow a few bucks. Tell them that you’ll pay them back as soon as you find a real job. You might make enough money to drop that super picky client you’ve been meaning to get rid of.
- “Hope you don’t mind if I stay with you for awhile.”People without jobs can’t afford rent or mortgage payments, so invite yourself to stay with your friends or family members for extended periods of time. Frequently make comments like, “I wish I could help with the electric bill, but I don’t have a job.” Bonus points if you have loud children or smelly pets.
- “Oh, I guess I can’t come to your (insert expensive event) then.”Weddings are expensive, so looks like you can’t shell out enough dough for that ugly bridesmaid dress. Same goes for that snooty restaurant where your best friend is having his birthday party this year. Sucks for everybody else that you don’t have a real job, doesn’t it?
- “Well, then I guess I should stop paying taxes.”People who don’t work get off easy at tax time. Since you don’t have a real job, there’s no reason for you to pay real taxes on your fake money. Just don’t be surprised when Uncle Sam gets a bit upset with you.
- “I know, which is why I just applied for your position. You didn’t tell me your job was hiring!”Attempt to say this with a straight face. Most people will immediately realize you’re lying, but some folks will secretly worry that their job is in jeopardy. Let them.
- “Thank goodness for food stamps and welfare.”Save this comment for the judgmental people in your life who swear that food stamp recipients are lazy and that women purposely have babies to get welfare. Make sure to thank them for paying enough taxes for your benefit check to come on time each month. Invite them for dinner and say things like, “I’m so glad that food stamps can buy lobster!”
- “Wait, then how am I paying for my house and car?”Don’t say this in a sarcastic tone; pretend that you are genuinely confused about how the bills are getting paid. Call the car dealer or real estate agent and demand to know who is paying your bills. Act shocked when the person on the other end says that you’re paying them.
Yes, it’s good to be the bigger person, but what’s fun about that? Don’t act like a total jerk every time somebody insults your career choice, but don’t be a total pushover, either. There’s nothing wrong with defending your career as a freelance writer. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and you deserve some respect.